Physical health, spiritual wealth

The funniest thing which happened yesterday was I dragged my body out of the house to get to the doctor, but it was closed for an hour's break. There was no way my body could have waited for the hour to pass, so, futile trip :D

Though I still suffered from diarrhoea this morning, the very good thing is the pain wasn't intense throughout the service. Recovery is expected to be on the way, thank you for the concern :)

I've been very spiritually quiet recently. Not in the state of abandoning my faith of course, yet not really into the state of yielding to whatever the Lord would want me to do. Just currently wallowing in shallow waters, recovering, waiting, still hoping and disciplining myself not to entertain thoughts of blaming or doubting God. Sometimes pain would escalate to numbness, then numbness to indifference, then indifference to a sense of loss, then a sense of loss to the hardening of the heart. But seriously, that is so detrimental.

During this period of silence, withdrawal symptoms also start appearing which only contribute more to the "heck it" attitude. But when I'm already 22, I begin to understand that it's not as if I say I don't care, I don't bother, and I'll be able to evade issues forever. I have only two choices. One, walk away once and for all and never look back. Two, look at the promised future and walk back. I wish I had a mentor who could analyse these with me and offer me sound advice. But since the encouragement of peers are as far as I can go, may the Lord's hand be with me.

And so, I still wait. Wait for this silent moment to come to pass, the day when I'm utterly surrendered to hear the still small voice which has been waiting for me will be the day I will go again with the Lord hand in hand.

I must take a stand and make a decision. You can help! By praying that the love of God will fill me, and the purposes of God will be unfolded beautifully in the life of His servant.

Oh, and start dating me please. I only have 2 more weeks of peaceful civilian life. Don't wait till the time I start work and complain I have no time for you, because I'm telling you now, I really will have no time for you :D